apocalipto

Life can really suck..today was completely the same as yesterday and tomorrow will most likely be the same too..but thanx to life, at least i got to play tennis, which as of now is one thing i love to do..it is something that can keep my mind away from these thoughts of hers..Sometimes life can be so funny and suck at the same time..hmmm i think life is pretty much okay..so does your life sucks? think again,, i might not be that bad.

Bofore i wrote this useless crap..i was watching Apocalipto a film by Mel Gibson.. the movie was great its an action drama kind of film, although you have to read the subtitile coz the film was not using english it was some sort of a dialect..but it was cool.. realistic and entertaining. So go check that movie out. okay thats it for now. . im out

So So

Today im happy because i passed one subject that i thought i was goin to fail.. i really thought i was going to.. but hoping that God will make a miracle and He did..thank you Lord you are the best the greatest..i am all yours....

But although i was happy.. still i was kinda sad..1 thing is i still miss her so much, as much as i thing this is much better, because is a problem free atmosphere i can thelp but miss her. I want to move on, but i dont know how, i just so damn miss her. Well there is nothing i can do now, shes working, shes busy and we dont text the way we used too. One thing that makes me feel sad is when i saw all our pictures in her multipply page are gone. Which only means that there is no turning back. Shes moving on so fast. Again there is nothing i can do. I just have to be a friend again hope that in the end. I can make it on my own, after all i was used in being alone,. but i was happy being with her. But life wont let it happen. or God wont allow it to happen,.

thank you Lord for everything..guide me and help me.

"IM OUT"

Why did i say "I'm out".. it was a reflex..when i was hurt i can't help but think about stopping the relationship, something that i really want, it was something I started to feel, like these is real, but I don't know why it has to end. I admit I'm so insecure..that's something i hate about myself. But could she be more of a help,? what i mean is.. if i was insecure she could help me out so that i wont feel insecure, i waited for the" i love you too" but she never gave it to me, instead took it as i was disturbing her, on her party with her ex boyfriend and their friends,. Well maybe i was just scared that something might happen again. So why am i scared if she just gave me the assurance. Instead she told me to sleep coz they are not going home yet, she could have just replied I LOVE YOU TOO..don't worry nothing will happen.. but no.. she got mad and told me that her ex boyfriend is mad at her coz of my text.. so what am i suppose to do?.. That's the reason why i got hurt and said "I'm out"... well as long as she keeps on going to manila and go out with her ex, its much better to stay out of the picture. I love her but this wont work out. Plus how about the other guy? the good guy..is he blind? i pity him.. but its none of my business anymore, i will have to leave it all.

Help i need somebody

Instead of studying I'm wasting my time surfing looking at her pictures and stuff, Whats wrong with me? I'm not like this and i never was, is this real love? or infatuation whatever that is its killing me, its draining and its bothering me. Why on earth did it happen, a freaking glimpse of how it is to fall for her? Whats the point? i can actually wait until the right moment comes I'm not in a hurry for love,. I hate this feeling i miss her so much i want to see her i want to talk to her i want to hug and kiss her. And I don't think she even thinks about me anymore. Was i Punk ed? The worse thing is to see her in class and feel that total change shes giving me. Why on earth did it happen. I'm not regretting any of it, coz every moment of it was so great. it was one of the the best thing that happened to me. But why on earth its gone? was it just a challenge? a game? a taste? a trial? a glimpse ? a dream?.. whatever that was it was real to me. I miss her so much. I bet she knows that.

Was it my fault? i don't know..just let me finish nursing first and i will start loving again, i can date i can kiss maybe but to love? that I'm not sure of, What the hell is love anyway, hehe am i getting bitter here hehe I don't care., i hope i can deal with all these. Good luck to myself.